Most of us have a criticism log running in our heads 24/7. It’s that voice that tracks every time you make a mistake in a meeting, forget an appointment, or feel awkward at a party. You don’t have to try to keep that log; it’s basically a bad habit your brain does. 

To counteract the critic, keep a compassion log, a specific journaling method designed to retrain your brain to think kinder, even when things go wrong.

We often think self-compassion is just positive thinking, but it’s actually about chemistry. Research in neuropsychology shows that self-criticism activates our amygdala—the part of the brain responsible for the fight-or-flight response. When you beat yourself up, your brain treats you like the predator.

The Power of Vocal Warmth

​An interesting study by Dr. Kristin Neff and her colleagues found that it’s not just the words you write, but the tone you have in your head while writing them. Writing with vocal warmth—essentially writing to yourself as if you were trying to comfort a friend who’s sad—lowers cortisol (the stress hormone) and increases oxytocin (the love hormone). This shift helps the prefrontal cortex stay attentive so you can actually solve problems instead of just panicking about them.

The Social Baseline Theory

​An interesting piece of research called social baseline theory suggests that the human brain expects to have social support when dealing with life’s risks. When you are hard on yourself, your brain perceives that you are alone and without support. This makes every task feel harder and more dangerous than it actually is. Practicing self-compassion convinces your brain that you have reliable support—yourself.

Journal Prompts For Self-Kindness

Here is a list of journal prompts that are designed to help you look at the facts of your life through a “compassion lens”, without the layer of judgment your inner critic usually adds.

Prompts for Challenging the Inner Critic

• Write down one thing you criticized yourself for today. Now, rewrite that sentence as if you were talking to a five-year-old child who made the same mistake.
• What is the meanest thing you said to yourself today? If someone said that to someone you love, what would you say to defend them?
• List three things you feel guilty about not finishing. For each one, write down the physical reason you stopped (“I was tired,” “I had a headache,” “The task was confusing”).
• Think of a time you were proud of a friend. What did they do? Now, find a small version of that same quality in yourself.
• Write down one failure from this month. Now, list at least one thing you learned from it that you wouldn’t have known if you had succeeded.
• If your self-criticism were a person you hired to help you, would you fire them for being abusive and ineffective? Write a “termination letter” explaining why their methods don’t actually help you improve.

Prompts for Physical Kindness and Biology

• Describe your body’s energy levels right now on a scale of 1–10. What is one way you can accommodate that level instead of fighting it?
• Write a thank-you note to a specific part of your body that did a lot of work today (e.g., your eyes for reading, your feet for walking, your lungs for breathing).
• What is one physical comfort you can give yourself in the next ten minutes (a warm drink, a blanket, stretching)? Write down how your body feels after you do it.
• Think of a time you pushed yourself when you were sick or exhausted. Write a note of apology to your body for not letting it rest.
• List three things your body does for you automatically that you never have to earn or work for.
• If you felt lazy, list how much sleep you got, what you ate, and your stress levels. Acknowledge that your output is tied to your input.

Prompts for Normalizing the Human Experience

• Choose a celebrity or historical figure you admire. Find a story of a time they failed or were embarrassed. Write about why that makes them more relatable, not less.
• Write about a messy part of your life (a cluttered drawer, a missed deadline). Then write why you’re allowed to have unfinished business.
• List three things that went wrong today that were actually outside of your control (traffic, weather, someone else’s mood). Write how it’s ok to not take responsibility for what’s outside of your control.
• What is a mistake you made years ago that you still think about? Write down three reasons why that version of you didn’t know any better at the time.
• Write about a time you showed someone else compassion. Why did they deserve it? Now, write down why you deserve that same grace.
• Describe a moment today when you were good enough. Not perfect, not great, just fine. Write about why fine is a valid way to exist.
• Think of one thing you’ve been nagging yourself about today. Write it down, then write one sentence acknowledging that being a human is inherently messy and difficult.

Prompts for Actionable Self-Kindness

• Write a “permission slip for tomorrow. What are you giving yourself permission to do, or not to do?
• If you had an unlimited supply of patience, how would you react to situations that are currently bothering you?
• What is one thing you do just for fun that you’ve been neglecting because it isn’t productive? Schedule 15 minutes for it in writing.
• List five tiny victories from today. These can be as small as ‘drank water’ or ‘brushed my hair.’
• What is a standard you hold yourself to that you do not hold anyone else to? Write about how it would feel to drop that standard for 24 hours.
• Write down the word inadequate. Now, write down all the external pressures (social media, family, work) that benefit from you feeling that way.
• What is the most supportive thing someone has ever said to you? Write it down as if you’re saying it to yourself.
• Using your own name, write a short paragraph in third-person about what you accomplished today (e.g., “[Name] got out of bed, answered two emails, and made lunch”).
• Write a list of “Advice for [Your Name]” regarding current stressors, but write it from the perspective of a very kind grandparent.

Tips for Consistency

• ​Keep it brief: You don’t need more than five minutes. The goal is to check in daily to build a habit of being kind to yourself.
• ​Use your phone: If a physical notebook feels like a chore, use a dedicated folder in your notes app.
• ​Log the small stuff: Don’t wait for a huge failure. Log small daily moments, like the time you dropped a glass or forgot to reply to a text. Training on small events makes the practice easier during big crises.

Many people worry that being kind to themselves will make them soft or unmotivated. However, a study from UC Berkeley found that people who practiced self-compassion after a failure were actually more motivated to improve than those who used self-criticism. ​Self-criticism creates shame-based paralysis. You become so afraid of feeling bad that you stop trying. Self-compassion lowers the cortisol levels, allowing the prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain that solves problems) to stay active so you can deal with life.