We all have moments when we feel insecure. When we think we’re not good enough. 

In this series, we unpack complex emotions to find the wisdom hidden inside them.

You might walk into a meeting at work and worry that you’re not as smart as everyone else in the room. You might scroll through social media and feel like your life is empty and boring compared to your friends. You might look in the mirror and only see things you want to change.

These feelings are normal, but they are often just habits of thinking, not the reality of who you are. We get so used to thinking negatively about ourselves that we don’t even try to second-guess those thoughts.

Journaling is a practical tool to break that habit. It is not just about complaining on paper; it’s a way to look at your thoughts, check their validity, and decide how you want to think and act instead.

Here is a guide to writing your way through insecurity. Moving from understanding where those thoughts come from to building a healthier inner narrative.

How to Get the Most Out of These Prompts

To make this work, you need to be honest. Here are three tips for your writing session:

Don’t edit yourself

Do not worry about spelling, grammar, or messy handwriting. No one else will read this. Just get the thoughts out of your head and onto the paper.

Write by hand if possible

Typing is fast, but writing by hand slows you down and gives you more time to think about what you are saying.

Be consistent

You don’t fix insecurity in one day. Try to answer one of the prompts from each step every time you feel that feeling of self-doubt.

3-Step Guide for Growing Out of Your Insecurities

Step 1: Finding the Source

Insecurities usually come from somewhere. We aren’t born worrying about our careers or our appearance. Usually, we learned these fears from a specific experience or person. These prompts help you figure out where the negative thought started.

Journal Prompts for Finding the Source of Insecurities

• When is the first time you remember feeling this way? For example, if you are insecure about your intelligence, try to remember if a teacher embarrassed you or classmates teased you in school, or if a parent criticized your grades when you were young.

• • Whose voice are you hearing? When you think “I am not good enough,” does it sound like you? Or does it sound like a critical parent, a strict boss, or an ex-partner? Write down who you think it sounds like.

• What situations trigger this feeling the most? Be specific. Do you feel insecure when you look at Instagram? Do you feel it when you have to speak in front of a group? Do you feel it when you are on a date?

• • Who do you compare yourself to the most? List the specific people (friends, celebrities, coworkers). What do they have that you think you lack?
  • How did your parents or guardians handle mistakes? When you broke something or got a bad grade, were they angry? Or were they understanding? How does that affect how you treat yourself when you make a mistake now?
  • What is a compliment you have trouble accepting? For example, if someone says, “You look nice,” do you immediately think they are lying or just being polite? Why?
  • Did you ever feel like you had to earn love or attention? Did you only get attention when you won a game or got an A? Do you feel like you have to ‘perform’ now to be liked?
  • Is there a specific group of people that makes you feel small? For example, wealthy people, successful people, very athletic people, or people with loud personalities. Why do they intimidate you?
  • What specific physical feature have you always disliked? Write down when you first noticed it. Did someone point it out to you, or did you notice it yourself? Imagine a world where that feature is considered a symbol of beauty. How would you feel about it then?
  • Do you feel like you’re behind in life? Write down the timeline you have in your head. Who told you that you needed to be married, rich, or successful by your current age?

• What are you afraid people will find out about you?

• How do you act when you feel insecure? Do you get quiet? Do you get loud? Do you apologize too much? Describe your behavior.
• What usually happens before you start feeling bad about yourself? Look for patterns. Is it late at night? Is it after talking to a specific family member? Is it when you are tired?

Step 2: Checking the Facts

Once you better understand where your insecurities come from, you need to check if they are true. Often, our feelings are very strong, but the facts tell a different story. This section helps you use logic and evidence to challenge the negative thoughts identified above.

Journal Prompts for Checking the Facts for Insecurities

• What is the evidence for and against this insecure thought? If you think “I am not as smart as my coworkers,” make two columns.

Column A (why it might be true): “I made a mistake on a report last week.”

Column B (why it is false): “I successfully completed several big projects,” “My boss gave me a raise last month,” “I help my coworkers often.”

• If your best friend told you they felt this way, what would you say to them? We are usually much nicer to our friends than we are to ourselves. Write down exactly what you would tell a friend who was in your situation. Now, read that advice back to yourself.

• Is this a fact, or is this just a feeling? Write down the difference. For example, “I feel stupid” is a feeling. “I failed the test” is a fact. Failing a test does not mean you are stupid.

• Are you expecting yourself to be perfect? Write down your definition of perfect. Is it actually possible for a human to achieve that?

• What’s the worst thing that could happen if your fear (the one fueling the insecurity) came true? For example, if you give a bad presentation, what happens next? Will you get fired? Probably not. Will people forget about it in two days? Definitely yes.

• Are you reading minds? If you think “They all think I’m boring,” ask yourself: Do you have proof? Did they say that? Or are you guessing?

• List 5 difficult things you survived or overcame in the past. Remind yourself that you are strong enough to handle hard things.

• Does this one flaw cancel out all your good qualities? For example, if you are bad at math, does that erase the fact that you are a great writer and a kind friend?

• Are you judging yourself by someone else’s rules? For example, you might feel bad about renting an apartment because your friend bought a house. But do you actually want to own a house right now?

• How much will this matter one year from now? Be honest. Will you even remember that awkward conversation next year?

• List 3 times you succeeded when you thought you’d fail. Prove to yourself that your future predictions are often wrong.

• Is there anything you can actually do to change this? If you can change it (like learning a new skill), make a plan. If you can’t change it (like your height), write down why feeling bad about it is a waste of energy.

• Are you using words like ‘always’ or ‘never’? For example, “I always mess up.” Change this to the truth: “I messed up this one time, but I did it right the last three times.”

Step 3: Moving Forward

Now that you have checked the logic of your insecurities, you can focus on how you want to think and act. You don’t have to wait until you feel 100% confident to act confident. These prompts are about taking action, setting boundaries, and being kind to yourself as you grow.

Journal Prompts for Moving Forward from Insecurities

• What would the confident version of you do in this situation? Think of situations when your insecurities stop you from doing something. Write about it. Then write what a confident you would do instead. For example, if you’re nervous about a party, the insecure you might stay at home. The confident version of you might go, say hello to three people, and leave early if you get tired. 

• What is one small thing you can do today to prove your insecurity wrong? Keep it small. If you’re insecure about your appearance, wear an outfit you really like. If you’re insecure about your opinion, speak up once during a meeting.

• What are 3 things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with others’ opinions? For example: “I’m a good cook,” “I’m kind to animals,” or “I’m very organized.”

• What are your top 3 values? Are you living by these values? If yes, then you are living a good life, regardless of what others think.

• Who makes you feel safe and good about yourself? Plan to spend more time with these people.

• What boundaries do you need to set to protect your confidence? For example, “I will stop looking at my ex’s social media,” or “I will stop answering work emails after 7 PM.”

• How can you be kind to your body today? Plan a small act of care, like eating a healthy meal, stretching, or wearing comfortable clothes.

• If you weren’t afraid of being judged, what would you do differently? For example, “I’d take a dance class,” or “I’d wear bright colors.”

• What is a new skill you could learn just for fun, not to be ‘good’ at it? Pick something where the goal is enjoyment, not perfection, and you’ll get a boost of confidence every time you engage with it.

• How will you handle it the next time you feel insecure? Make a plan. “When I feel insecure, I will take three deep breaths and call my sister.”

• Write a permission slip for yourself. For example, “I give myself permission to not know the answer to everything.”

• What is one thing you appreciate about your life right now? Focus on gratitude to shift your focus away from what you think you’re lacking.

• Write a short thank-you note to yourself for showing up today. Acknowledge that trying to grow is hard work, and you are doing it.

 

Growing out of your insecurities takes time. It’s not about becoming a perfect person who never feels insecure. It’s about realizing that just because you think something negative about yourself, it doesn’t mean it’s true.

Use these prompts whenever you need a reality check. Over time, you’ll find that the negative, insecure voice gets quieter, and your own confident voice gets louder.

 

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. While journaling is a powerful tool, it is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified healthcare provider or therapist.